OK gang, let’s sit back, smoke a cigar and talk about the Oscars… ’cause that’s what men do.
T-minus four days until OSCAR TIME!
You know what? I don’t even know what that sentence really means… I mean, what the hell does the ‘T’ stand for?
Let’s start again with a different approach.
Hey, guess what everyone? The Academy Awards will be on television in just four nights!
Yeah, that sounds a lot better… and it just makes sense.
Let’s get to it.
A couple days ago I wrote an article about the Oscars that dealt with the awards primarily focusing on the women (Best Actress and Best Supporting Actress.) Now, we don’t want to discriminate against any gender, so let’s talk about the men.
Ahh, men. They’re handsome. They’re rugged. They’re brawny. And they’re downright macho… yeah, they’re Macho-Macho men. But the big question we’re here to tackle is: Can these boys act?
Well, let me tell you, if you’re nominated for an Academy Award, then you can most definitely act. What I’m going to tell you is, who, out of all these accomplished actors deserves to walk away with the golden statuette.
We’ll start tonight’s show off with the award for “Best Supporting Actor in a Motion Picture Film.”
And the nominees are:
Kenneth Branagh: Branagh is a Belfast born actor who’s best known for taking roles in Shakespearean plays. But I loved him in 2008’s “Valykrie.” He’s up for this award for playing Sir Laurence Olivier in “My Week with Marilyn.”
Jonah Hill: Hill may be one of the funnier young actors in Hollywood right now, but he is nominated here for playing a serious, whiz-kid assistant to Brad Pitt’s “Billy Beane” in “Moneyball” (personally, I love the guy because his dad was the tour accountant for Guns-n-Roses: The best band ever assembled).
Nick Nolte: What can I say about Nolte… he’s a nut! And I absolutely love him for it. Hey, life knocks you down every so often, but this guy keeps getting up, and I admire him for that. I bet you he has some good stories. Maybe he’ll have another one, because he’s up for this award for his work in “Warrior.”
Christopher Plummer: This man has been a staple in Hollywood for a long, long time. I loved him as a bad man in “Inside Man,” and he was great in this year’s “Dragon Tattoo.” But he’s up for this award for his work in a little film called “Beginners.” I am sorry Mr. Plummer, but I did not make it to this film, so you will not be winning a “Matty” tonight. I heard you were fantastic in the movie though. Good job.
Max von Sydow: In the movie “Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close,” Sydow plays a grandfather figure (known only as “The Renter”) to a little boy who lost his father in the September 11th attacks. It’s a deeply moving film and a deeply moving role, although he never speaks a word throughout the entire film.
And the award deserves to go to: Nick Nolte. He plays an alcoholic former boxer in “Warrior,” who has two sons fighting for the UFC championship. He delivers a powerful performance in a film that deserved to be at least nominated for “Best Picture.”
And the award will go to: Who knows? This catergory is wide open. I’d like to see Nolte get it, but if not, let’s give it to some fresh meat. Give it to Jonah Hill. He was good in his role too.
And the next catergory is, “Best Actor in a Motion Picture Film”
And the nominees are:
Demian Bichir: All I know is this man is a Mexican… I’m sorry, but basically, this is all I know about him. I looked at his profile and a LOT of his films are in Spanish. He seems to have crossed over to American film and TV flawlessly, but unfortunately I missed the boat on him. I never saw the movie “A Better Life” which he is up for the award for. Honestly, I never even heard of the movie until it was too late to see. Once again, I’m sorry Mr. Bichir.
George Clooney: Nominated for “The Descendants.” Now this movie I did see. Clooney plays a land baron in Hawaii when his cheating wife gets into a boating accident and is going to die. He must re-connect with his daughters, and learn to move on. Clooney is great.
Jean Dujardin: This handsome french fella played George Valentin: big-time silent film star in the big-time silent film called “The Artist.” Was he good? Oui-Oui.
Gary Oldman: This is an actor that I like to get right out and see once he has a film at the theatre. He’s a great thespian and deserves awards and our praise…. just not for “Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy.” You deserved a nomination for “True Romance” and “State of Grace.” Not for this.
Brad Pitt: Here he is, my twin brother, separated at birth. Pitt plays Oakland A’s GM, Billy Beane, a man trying to produce a winning team with peanuts to play with. Now, I thought this movie could’ve gone two ways. One, Pitt brings his character and all the surrounding characters to the forefront with interesting and somewhat complex storylines. Or two, this becomes the most boring movie ever made. With the book it was adapted from, I wasn’t sure it could be interesting. It was great.
And the award deserves to go to: Jean Dujardin. With this being a silent film, it needed so much more ‘everything’ for it to work. And Dujardin brought it. He had to overact to let the audience feel the story and he delivered it like he worked for UPS.
And the award will go to: Coin toss. Dujardin and Clooney were both fantastic in their respective films and I wouldn’t be surprised if either of them win. Let’s remember though, the Academy LOVES Clooney…. Hell, who doesn’t.
There you have it. Ten nominees, two winners, and one set of twins, me and Brad Pitt. Hope you enjoyed my ramblings. Keep an eye out on Saturday for my article on the two biggest awards of the year, “Best Picture” and “Foreign Language Film.”
Matty W. Kelley
Fun Fact: Brad Pitt was originally cast to play Colin Sullivan in “The Departed” but dropped out. That part ended up being played by Matt Damon.
Fun Matty Fact: Three years ago, I was shopping at the South Shore Plaza for a sweet sweatsuit when a smokin’ hot lady walked up and asked me for my autograph. I said, “Who do you think I am?” She said, “Brad Pitt.” Alright, I’m totally lying about that… but I wish it happened. We’ll chalk this one up under “Fun Matty Fiction.”