[xrr rating=3.75/5]
What would you do with superpowers?
There’s a question that has most likely floated around in our brains once or twice in our lifetimes.
Me? Well, I’d like to think that I’d protect the weak from the tyranny. I would fight for the good over evil. And if I saw a crime being committed, I would jump into action and right the wrongs via my skull-thumping super-fists of fury.
That’s what I’d like to think I’d do….
But in reality, I’d do a lot more. Don’t get me wrong, I’d do all that stuff too, but some of that stuff would be put on the back burner while I tended to the finer things in life.
If I had superpowers, I’d fly to the Caribbean on a whim, take my superhero costume off, except for my speedos, and lay out on the beach. I’d be sucking back super-margaritas and getting a super-tan.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, back up… You know what? First, I’d lay my super-charm on Wonder Woman just so I could have a super hot chick hanging on my arm while I enjoyed the Caribbean. You always need a lady, they are what make superheroes super (see: Lois Lane, Vicky Vale, and Pepper Potts).
The other reason I’d hook up with Wonder Woman is, I would borrow her invisible jet and pack it in with all my buddies from up here and I’d fly them down to hang out with me. You have to love a good party! We’d rent mopeds and buzz around the island until we got bored, and then we’d ghost-ride them off a cliff. There’s nothing cooler than watching a moped explode, trust me.
Later that night, we’d hit the clubs and dance it up with the native women. I’d be break-dancing and moon-walking and doing the Frankenstein and all that crazy stuff. The chicks would love me!
After that, one of the hottest girls in “Club Oui-Oui” would say in her native dialect, “Super Matty, let me show you my cabana.” And we would have the most romantic ending to a wonderful day ever.
It would be so much fun… until the next morning when I walked into my hotel room and Wonder Woman is sitting at the end of the bed, all pissed off because I never even told her I was going out! This is what would happen to me, because my superpower is “being an idiot.”
With great power comes great responsibilities… and I am way to immature to handle great power. I think I’ll just stick with my power of being a great landscaper.
Which brings me to my review of the movie “Chronicle” (Haha! Nice segway).
“Chronicle” is about three high school friends (two cousins, Matty and Andrew, and a buddy named Steve) who make a discovery after a party out in the woods. They hear a weird sound out in the forest and go snooping. They find a giant hole in the ground. Curious (just like George the monkey), they decide to go down into the hole. They end up finding a giant, florescent crystal that’s making a humming sound…. Then, BOOM!!!
It’s the next day. I don’t know how they got home. I think they blacked out. But either way, they start realizing they are tele-kinetic (they can move objects with their minds). This is fun for a while. Then they start figuring out they can fly! That’s when the real fun begins.
Eventually, the story turns more about the characters and how they cope with their powers. If one of the boys has an angry disposition, they show you how he deals with it and with his superpowers. The same happens with the kinder, gentler boys.
There is not really much else to tell you about the movie, except that it was very good. Why? I’m not totally sure. Maybe it’s because it’s fun to see how people would act with these powers. Maybe it was the point of view (POV) that they were filming the movie from (it had a “Cloverfield” feel to it, and I liked that movie). All I know is that it was good.
I did have a couple questions though, and if you see it, you may have the same. One, what was the thing in the ground? Of course, it had to be alien, but they never follow up on it. And two, they kept getting nose bleeds, but it never really meant anything. I mean, they didn’t start losing their powers or anything when they’d bleed.
Nevertheless, it was an entertaining film.
Oh yeah, the special effects could have been a little bit better for this sci-fi guy, but now I’m just being picky…. T’was a very good movie.
I’m UP, UP, AND AWAY, to leap into my giant bathtub in a single bound and take a nice bubble-bath… CALGON, TAKE ME AWAY!!!
Fun Fact: The two main characters in this movie are named Matty and Andrew. And Andrew’s father in the movie’s name in real life is Michael Kelley! Weird, ’cause that’s me and my brother’s names! The only other names we needed in the movie to make it all about my family was Cathy, Donald, Faith, Colin, and Becky!
Fun Matty Fact: Well, I think my “Fun Fact” will also be my “Fun Matty Fact”… ’cause it’s pretty much all about me (and my brothers and sisters).