Furious Seven

“You know, all that really matters is that the people you love are happy and healthy. Everything else is just sprinkles on the sundae.” -Paul Walker

My name is Matty W. Kelley and I’m a movie reviewer. I don’t think I’m the best movie reviewer in the world, but I KNOW that I am the second best movie reviewer in the world. And that’s a pretty darned good achievement if I do say so myself.
I have always stated that there is only ONE movie reviewer on this entire planet that is better than me. Now, that is up to you to decide who that one person is. But I can absolutely, positively, without a doubt, guarantee you, that I, Matty W. Kelley, am the SECOND BEST MOVIE REVIEWER IN THE WORLD.

There is no arguing this. I am 100% correct. My calculations are not wrong. I have done the math over ONE-THOUSAND times and the answer is always the same: MATTY W. KELLEY IS THE SECOND BEST MOVIE REVIEWER IN THE WORLD.

There is even an algorithm that I created to figure out this age old, complex question. Now, I don’t want to bore you to death with numbers, equations, and technical mumbo-jumbo, but let’s just say that when you put all the integers into my “Best Movie Reviewer” machine (or “BMR”), the answer will always spit out: MATTY W. KELLEY IS THE SECOND BEST MOVIE REVIEWER IN THE WORLD.

Hey, the numbers don’t lie.

That being said, I have been known to screw up a few movie reviews from time to time. Readers have commented on some of my articles saying that I spoiled the movie for them. That I gave away the ending. Or that I just wrote an entire “8th grade style” book report on the movie I had just seen.

Trust me, I try not to give away the movie for you. I’m just a man that is passionate about the films he sees… and I throw that passion into my articles.

Personally, I think my movie reviews may be better suited for people who have already seen the movie. But what do I know, I’m only THE SECOND BEST MOVIE REVIEWER IN THE WORLD.

Anyway, I saw “Furious Seven” last night and I’m going to give you my opinion on it. I promise I will try not to ruin it for you.

“Furious Seven” is (oddly enough) the seventh film in “The Fast and the Furious” franchise.

And I loved it.

If you have seen the previous six “Furious” films (not necessarily “Tokyo Drift” though), then you know that it’s pretty much the same story over again. It’s a group of characters (or a “family” as they like to call themselves) with fast and furious cars, trying to save each other from peril, be it from the cops, the government, or in this caper, the bad guys.

The same cast of characters is back for another cruise behind the wheel. The family consists of some big name actors including Vin Diesel, Paul Walker, Michelle Rodriguez, Tyrese Gibson, Ludacris, and Jordana Brewster.

Then there’s some step-siblings. Dwayne Johnson, Gal Gadot, Lucas Black, and Bow-Wow are along for the ride, helping out Dominic Torretto. (Diesel)

Then there’s even an adopted, black sheep brother-type brought in to help out Dom. That actor is Kurt “Lay Down The Hurt” Russell.

All of these good-guys were excellent in their roles in this film.

Then there’s the bad guy. Jason Statham. This guy takes “bad-ass” to a new level. He makes “mean” into an art form. If you want to talk “cool” then Jason Statham is your man. He’s the coolest bad-ass in film at the present time.

Have I spoiled the film for you yet? I hope not.

You may be asking yourself, “If Matty says this film is the same exact film as the other ones, then why did he love this film? Isn’t that just…. repetitive?”

Well folks, my answer is, sometimes you just want to go to the movies to be entertained. And let me tell you, “The Fast and the Furious” franchise is EXTREMELY entertaining. I love special effects. I love seeing those fast cars. I love the stunts. I love Vin Diesel’s acting. And quite frankly, sometimes I love a story that’s so over-the-top that I walk out of the theatre saying, “Wow! That was so stupid and awesome!”

So yes, I loved this film. It may not be a film that the Best Movie Reviewer in the World would like, but I can say this without any fear of being call a liar, it’s a movie that the Second Best Movie Reviewer in the World absolutely loved.

There is one thing I want to talk about before signing off. I watched Paul Walker perform for the last time in his life last night. It gave me chills to see such a talent doing his job on screen, knowing that he had already passed away.

Paul Walker was an entertainer who entertained me with films like Varsity Blues, Pleasantville, The Skulls, Takers, Into The Blue, and She’s All That. But it was “The Fast and the Furious” franchise that really propelled him into stardom.

From all accounts I’ve heard about him, he was a really cool guy that liked surfing, cars, travelling, and his family (especially his daughter, Meadow Rain).

I don’t get too sentimental about anything, but when I watched the ending of this film I couldn’t help but weep. Weep for him, weep for his family and friends, and weep for his daughter. I hate to see people die (we all do), but to see someone in the prime of his life be instantly taken from us… Well, “tragic” is not a strong enough word.

Paul Walker, you entertained me in the short time you were on this Earth.

… And for that I thank you very much.

Rest In Peace.

Matthew W. Kelley, reporting.
mattywkelley.com

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