[xrr rating=3/5]
The Lone Ranger galloped its way into theatres this fourth of July weekend, and it seems to me like there isn’t too much buzz around it. I find this odd seeing that the film is a remake of the popular TV show of the same name and also stars a big-name actor in Johnny Depp. But what do I know? I could be completely wrong on this. I’ve looked for some early numbers on its box-office take and I couldn’t find any. Then again, I am writing this review on friday evening and maybe they haven’t tallied up all the figures from the holiday yet… Either way, it doesn’t matter what it raked in, because whether it took in 40 dollars or 40 million dollars, I’m going to review it for you. (Just a quick note though: This film cost an estimated 250 million dollars to make… That’s why I wanted to see some rough numbers.)
“The Lone Ranger” tells the story of how John Reid (Armie Hammer) a man of the law, became the legendary masked hero. It also follows Tonto’s crusade to find justice from a man who slayed his entire tribe when he was a child… (and all for a pocketwatch.)
There are plenty of characters in this film. Some interesting, some not so much. The villian in this film is named Butch Cavendish. (brilliantly portrayed by William Fitchner.) I loved this blood thirsty demon. Fitchner played the part grotesquely well. There was also an interesting ‘politician type’ character named Cole, (Tom Wilkinson) who I found to be a knivingly smug fellow. (and it worked.) And then there was a lady of the night who ran a brothel and seemed to be involved in the flesh trade. Her name was Red Harrington. (Helena Bonham Carter) Now, I’m a fan of HBC but I just didn’t think that this character was developed enough to keep me interested in her storyline.
I want to give some props to a couple more actors in this film before I “Mattify” this review for you.
First, Barry Pepper played a corrupt soldier in this flick, and although I didn’t think his role was big enough, I did find him interesting… And the man knows how to act. (I loved him in “The 25th Hour.)
And James Badge Dale. This man is somewhat new to me on the acting scene, but I recognized him. In this film he plays Dan Reid, (The Lone Ranger’s brother) and his character was very interesting… HE should’ve been The Lone Ranger. This kid is having himself a pretty good year or two on the acting circuit. Just recently he has been in “The Grey”, “Flight”, “Ironman 3”, and “World War Z”… Not too bad of a resume for the newcomer. I’ll be keeping my eye out for this cat. I see him having a solid career in Hollywood.
Now let’s get to the most important part of this review: What did I think of “The Lone Ranger”?
That’s easy… This movie should have been called “The LONG Ranger”. This film just seemed to drag on, and on, and on. And just when you thought it may end, it didn’t. I wasn’t completely down on this film, but I just thought it would be a lot better. I mean, look at the stamps covering this movie. Directed by Gore Verbinski, and produced by Jerry Bruckheimer Films AND Walt Disney Pictures, and also starring one Mr. Johnny Depp, I was expecting so much more. All these people were involved in giving us the “Pirates of the Caribbean” films. And I loved them. (Especially the original.) I just wish that this movie came with all the flair that “Pirates” came with.
Also, Tonto is kind of boring. I thought Depp would bring some kind of shine and pizzazz to this Indian, (like he did with Capt. Jack Sparrow) but in the end, I found him to be somewhat dull… He also wears a bird on his head for the entire movie. I so wanted there to be a dynamic story behind how that bird became his head-dress. But no, It was a just dead bird in the water and he put it on his head. That’s all. (Now, before you go hammering me about the symbolism of the bird and the death of his tribe, and all the silver and whatnot, I know. I understood all of it…. I just thought it was boring. I wish the bird attacked him and got stuck in his nest of follicles. That would’ve been at least a little more interesting.)
Now believe me, I wanted this film to knock me over. I’m a big Depp fan. And I’m seriously pulling for Armie Hammer to breakout and be a major leading actor. (Loved him in “The Social Network”) I just don’t think this was the best role to take so early on in his career. I don’t think you can break out into big-time movie stardom in Westerns… Unless of course you’re John Wayne. To me, Westerns are tough. Us young kids aren’t rushing out to the theatre to drop some shekels on Westerns. We’d rather spend a sawbuck and see a superhero movie. But hey, that’s just me.
Am I right? I think so. I mean, how many Westerns are in your Top Twenty favorite movies of all time… I can name one: “Blazing Saddles”… And technically, I’d say that may be categorized i the “Comedy” genre…. (Such a fantastic and hilarious film!)
I’ll rattle off a few of my favorite Westerns, and you’ll notice that they are all good films…. But they are Westerns so they really don’t stick to your bones… I loved “Young Guns”, “Young Guns 2” “Back to the Future 3”, “3:10 to Yuma”, and “True Grit”. (both of them). (“John Carter” was actually part Western, and part Sci-fi……. and ALL terrible.)
You see, you really got to look around to find a great Western. I think they are a genre of yesteryear, and besides for a few old fogies, I don’t think they are going to be making a comeback anytime soon… I’m sorry old people.
So basically, the only Western I want to see is a Western…. omelette.
“Hi-ho Silver away!” (and after watching this film, “Calgon take me away.”)
Matty W. Kelley, ‘A Seat Apart Productions’, reporting.
Fun Fact: “Tonto” means “fool” in spanish.
Fun Matty Observation: One thing I noticed about this film is that it had a ‘Whitey and Billy Bulger’ type feel to it… A brotherly connection that hit close to home in my hometown of Boston. Check out the movie and see if you agree. (Yeah, I said it. GO SEE THE MOVIE! Just because I didn’t like it doesn’t mean you’re not going to. I have my opinion, you have yours.)