“Who built the arc?
Rock People, Rock People!
Who built the arc?
Lots of Rock People built the arc!”
Wait, that’s not how the song goes at all!
But that’s what director Darren Aronofsky would want you to believe with his new interpretation of the biblical story of Noah, the man who save all the creatures of this planet from the great flood.
But there is so much more to this film. It tells you the real reason that Noah had the arc built in the first place. (And no, not the reason to save the animals). He initially built his arc because the Creator told him to, for there was to be a cleansing of the planet where all the wicked were to be washed from the face of the Earth. He, his family, and the innocent (the animals) were to be saved while the rest perished. Then, his sons were to re-populate the planet with good, honest, Creator-fearing souls.
That plan changed in a heartbeat when Noah had another vision where the Creator wanted all humanity wiped away altogether. (including his family).
Well, let me tell you, this caused a ruckus in the Noah “archold.” There were a lot of problems between father and son, husband and wife, daughter-in-law and father-in-law, and Grandfather and grandchildren.
There is so much turmoil going on in this arc that you forget that they are living with four-hundred thousand different animals!
Now, before I start my spiel on what I thought of this film I’d like to tell you what three of my friends thought of it.
They all came to the unanimous decision that this film was terrible. And so what, everyone has their opinion and their opinion is never wrong.
But we can always discuss, counter, and argue their opinion, since NO-ONE will ever be incorrect with their review of ANY film. (provided they are not idiots.)
What did I, the greatest movie reviewer to ever survive the Fr. Mac’s Swamp Flood of 1991, think of this film?
I thought it was incredible. One of my favorite films of the year. (29 movies to date). I loved Aronofsky’s spin on the old story. He made it easy to follow and very interesting to watch. I loved his battles of Good vs. Evil, Father vs. Son, and especially Normal thought vs. Insanity.
There was so much going on in this film. I love religious films, and I love special FX. Now I know the director took liberties and finagled the historical text from the bible and turned it to his own, but what was great is that it made the story work. I mean, who can build an arc that will hold two of every creature in the world without the help of some Rock People? Noah could not build that arc by himself! He needed help and the Rock People were there for him.
Another thing I liked about how Aronofsky put this masterpiece together? I hear he is an athiest, and who better to do a film about a biblical story than an athiest. I mean, his religious views aren’t going to get in the way. I liked how in one scene he showed an entire clip of evolutionism, yet he was smart enough to stop the evolutionary chain right before man, just to not offend the stout and devout believers in Creationism. I also loved that he never uses the name “God” in this film, as not to offend any and/or all religions. He always uses the term “The Creator.”
And finally, I loved the story of the excruciating struggles of Noah. His beliefs are so strong that his actions MUST be the correct outcomes. “This is what the Creator wants? Well, thou shalt be done.” (my quote, not Noah’s.)
Just a superb film.
Quickly on the acting. Everyone carried their weight in this film.
Russell Crowe (Noah) is always great in whatever he does, so there was no surprise there.
Jennifer Connelly is one of my underrated (and undercover smoking hot) actresses of the past decade. She cries on film quite well. (although when she opened up the tear ducts I thought there was a great flood coming out of her nostrils… which is a back-handed compliment because it shows she can really cry on cue.)
Logan Lerman, (Ham) He’s a good young actor with a promising future.
Emma Watson. Now who’s cuter than this girl? Oh my, she has such an angelic face. She was perfect for this film. Great young actress.
Ray Winstone. I love you man, but I’ll always see you as ‘Frenchy’ from “The Departed.” You were THE MAN in that film!
And yes, Nick Nolte was in this film. I must’ve missed that part.
So before I go starboard side and wrap this review up, let me just say that it doesn’t matter what religion you are, or what religion you aren’t. If you want to be entertained, Go see “Noah.” (Historically, and religiously it may not be spot-on, but so what.)
And remember, there is only ONE movie reviewer in this world that is better than me. Do you know who that is?
You.
Fun Fact: Russell Crowe and Jennifer Connelly have played husband and wife on screen before in the film “A Beautiful Mind.”
Also, Logan Lerman and Emma Watson have recently starred on screen together too in (one of my favorite films of 2012) “The Perks of Being a Wallflower.”
Fun Matty Fact: While I was sitting in the theatre watching the biblical epic, “Noah” on Friday night, April 4th, there happened to be a 5.3 magnitude earthquake that shook the theatre. Some people were shaken (not stirred) but I honestly thought it was part of the movie.
A sign from God perhaps?