Man of Steel

[xrr rating=4.25/5]

ManofSteel

What’s faster than a speeding bullet, more powerful than a locomotive, and WAY more destructive than a category 5 hurricane with an F5 tornado in the middle of it? That’s right, Superman.

“Look, up in the sky! It’s a bird!
It’s a plane! It’s Superman!….. And he’s the most destructive
superhero to ever roam this planet!

We’ll talk about his destructive
tendencies a little bit later on in this article. But for now, I’m
  to give you the MATTY-fied movie review of the new blockbuster superfilm, “Man of Steel”.

“Man of Steel” tells the
story of the origins of Superman and how he became the protector of
Earth. But before you go thinking that this film is a re-boot of the
original movie starring Christopher Reeve, let me tell you that it
isn’t… Well, not exactly.

The movie tells of how Kal-el,
(Superman) son of Jor-el came to this planet. You see, Superman is
not of this Earth, and unless you’ve been living in a boot for your
entire life, you should know that he comes from the planet Krypton.
Krypton is falling to pieces because of  both civil war and the fact
that it is ready to implode in on itself. Jor-el (well acted by
Russell Crowe) and his wife, Faora-Ul (Antje Traue) decide that they
want their boy to live. They place him in a life pod and ship him off
to a distant planet… That planet is Earth.

Down here on Earth Kal-el grows up
under the name Clark Kent. He’s brought up on a farm in Kansas by his
new parents, Mr. and Mrs. Kent. (I forget their first names, but they
are a lovely couple.) His parents are played by Kevin Costner and
Diane Lane. (Costner is the dad and Lane is the mom, just in case you
couldn’t figure that one out.)

Clark realizes at a young age that he
is not like the other children. And I just realized that I’m writing
a book report, and not a movie review, so I’m going to just tell you
what I thought of this film now. (I think we all pretty much know the
story of Superman anyway.)

Did Matty W. Kelley, professional
movie reviewer, enjoy this movie? You bet your kryptonite cape I did!
I thought it was a fantastic film, with some very minor flaws.

What I especially liked about this is
that it begins with telling the story of Krypton. Being the sci-fi
geek that I am, I thoroughly enjoy watching where and how the
director will go with the “goings on” of a far off planet.

Helming the directing duties for this
film is Zack Snyder. (300, Watchmen, Sucker Punch) I loved that
Snyder took us to Superman’s home planet and told us about the
problems that forced Superman to Earth. I also liked that he told us
so much more about Superman’s parents, Jor-el and Faora-Ul. This is
stuff that I did not know. Sure, I am a sci-fi geek, but I’m not a
comic book geek. (Not that there’s anything wrong with that.) Finding
out about Superman’s lineage was interesting to me. I also liked all
the special effects that were used in this film, especially on
Krypton.

I also thought the casting was done
quite well. I didn’t want to have a bonafide actor play the hero in
this film. I wanted a fresh face. I thought that casting Henry Cavill
as Superman was a great call. I fancy myself a pretty astute
entertainment savant, but honestly, who the hell is this guy? I
haven’t seen him in anything. And I liked the fact that I didn’t know
him. He was good, but not “Super”.

You know what? It took me a bit to
like the casting of Lois Lane, but Amy Adams surprised me. She is a
nice young actress, but she really isn’t my cup of tea. To be
truthful here, I think her best role to date was as Giselle in
”Enchanted”… (Yeah, ok I’m a loser, but I really liked
that movie!) She was good in this film. Good, but not “Super”.

The best casting in this film was for
Superman’s nemisis, General Zod. Zod was play by a great actor named
Michael Shannon. Now, he is a pretty well known actor, but (in my
opinion) he hasn’t reached “upper eschelon” status yet. He
deserves to be in the conversation with other big name actors. He’s
been in “Revolutionary Road”, “Premium Rush” and
one of my favorite films this year, “Mud”. Oh, and he was
extremely evil as General Zod in this film… He was “Super”.

Now, let’s get to some of the minor
flaws of this movie.

I never though I’d say this since I am
such a HUGE fan of special effects, but I honestly thought there
wasTOO MUCH action in this film. (And that’s coming from a guy who
totally loves the “Transformers” franchise.) Seriously, at
one point of the film I turned to my buddy (an amateur movie
reviewer) and said, “Dude, has this fight been going on for
like, an hour?” And honestly, it had. Now don’t get me wrong, I
loved it, but at some point I needed some dialogue just to calm me
down from all the mayhem that was going on around Metropolis.

Another flaw? General Zod comes to
Earth to take Superman off their hands, but Superman won’t leave.
Well, after all the destruction those two maniacs caused, I think
Earthlings would have begged Zod to take him away… I’m not kidding
you, in the end Superman saves Metropolis, but in the process he most
likely killed 1,000,000 innocent lives, and caused over 500 trillion
dollars in city infrastructure damage… I mean, he RUINED
Metropolis! HE TOTALLED IT! Personally, I would’ve kicked him off the
planet myself. What a pain in the ass he was… And then at the end
he turns around to the people and says “You’re welcome.” Is
he out of his mind? (Alright, maybe he didn’t say “You’re
welcome”, but it sure felt that way.)

One more thing… okay, I am going to
ruin the movie for you right now. Superman kills General Zod by
simply breaking his neck. THAT’S ALL HE HAD TO DO WAS BREAK HIS NECK!
But NOOOO, he had to destroy an entire city and all its inhabitants
first. He was a menace I tell ya!

Anyway, Me and my hetero life
mate/writing partner, Billy Daley, over at “A Seat Apart
Productions” are in the process of writing the sequel to this
film… But in our film the real heroes are the iron workers,
construction men, planetorial beautificationists, (landscapers) mason
workers, funeral home directors and gravediggers that have work as a
team to put this city back together.
We’re going to call it “MAN OF STEEL II: Get The Hell Off My Planet You Crazy Lunatic!”

Okay, I’m all calmed down now… So,
once again, did I like this film? You bet I did! I just went off for
a minute on some of the flaws of the film… but so what, it’s a freekin’
comic book turned into a movie for cripes sakes! All it really had do
is entertain me…

And did it?

ABSOLUTELY.

Matty W. Kelley, “A Seat Apart Productions”, reporting.

Fun Fact: Henry Cavill has been
runner-up to Daniel Craig for the role of  James Bond in “007”,
Christian Bale as Bruce Wayne in “Batman”, and Robert
Pattinson as Edward Cullen in “Twilight”. It’s good to see
him get a shot a big leading role.

Fun Matty Fact: I’ve been runner-up to
Cyrano De Bergerac in “Big Nose”, Joseph Merrick in “The
Elephant Man”, and America Ferrera in “Ugly Betty”…
You know what? I ain’t too upset about losing out on those roles…..
”I AM NOT AN ANIMAL!”

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