[xrr rating=4.25/5]
“Ironman 3” is a fantastic film, but if you’re going to see it soon, don’t read my review… YOU’VE BEEN WARNED.
Robert Downey Jr. has made some mistakes in his life. He’s been hooked on drugs, and drugs and booze, (and drugs) and has also done a lengthy stint in jail. Does this make him a bad man? Absolutely not. We’ve all made mistakes. (Some more than others.) Making mistakes is part of life. Some of my mistake have actually been the best parts of my life… And some have been the worst. But there’s no doubt about it, we all make mistakes. It’s what you do after to fix them that mold you into a better man. Hell, if I was to write an article on all my mistakes, this column would be called “Matty’s Major Malfunctions” and not “Matty’s Movies”… And you know what? I could pen a novel with all the screw-ups that I have created, and trust me, you would love it. I’m talking “best seller” material.
But I’m not here to tell you about my mistakes, I’m here to tell you about Mr. Downey Jr’s mistakes. You know what? He doesn’t have many. Sure, he’s been hooked on coke, heroin, pot, booze, and a bunch of other junk, but who hasn’t? Ok, many of you haven’t, but so what, many of us have… And many of us take different roads to get to where we’re at. Hell, I bet he had one hell of a time before taking the long road back to normal society. (besides the jail part, that part must’ve sucked…. Actually, I know it sucked, I did a week in Worcester H.O.C… not fun.)
Anyways, I’m way off track here. What I’m getting at is, professionally, he has not made many mistakes. What a resume he flaunts. He’s carried some major films like “Air America”, “Less Than Zero”, “Chaplin”, ”Sherlock Holmes”, and one of his best roles to date, as ’Kirk Lazarus’ in the wonderfully hilarious comedy, “Tropic Thunder”.
Let me tell you right now, Robert Downey Jr. did not make a mistake in making “Ironman 3”. What a delicious film.
But I did have a few issues with it. Nothing serious, but perplexing nonetheless. I’ll get to my issues later.
The story takes place a year after the Avenger’s (Hulk, Captain America, Thor, Ironman, Black Widow, and Hawkeye) fought Loki and his alien army in New York City. Tony Stark (Downey) is after some “good old fashioned revenge” after the terrorist known as “The Mandarin” sets off a bomb that seriously injures his friend and bodyguard, Happy Hogan. (Jon Favreau).
Meanwhile, Tony can’t sleep. He’s in love with Pepper Potts, (Gwyenth Paltrow) and he’s having anxiety attacks because of the NYC incedent one year earlier. Basically, he’s a mess.
Since he can’t sleep, he works tirelessly on his hobby, which is making drone Ironmans. There’s a lot going on… Crazyiness happens and Ironman eventually has to go duke it out with the Mandarin. It gets rough but it makes for a cool special effects laden film.
I’m going to tell you right now: STOP READING THIS IF YOU PLAN ON SEEING THIS MOVIE ANYTIME SOON. I’m going to talk about the film and you may not like what I have to say because, SPOILER ALERT! I am going to spoil it for you.
I think I’ve given you enough time to stop reading this, but if you haven’t, well then I don’t care, because that means you are too weak to pull back and stop reading my awesome review. (Hey, it happens, I’m awesome, I know.)
I loved this movie! 4 out of 5 stars. I love how Robert Downey Jr. plays Tony Stark as the handsome playboy even though he’s in love with Pepper Potts. He’s funny and sarcastic. I love his home. I love his toys. I love his life. He reminds me of me, except that I’m poor… and ugly… and I’m not a playboy, but I do read Playboy. (Alright, I’m lying about that one, I just look at the pictures.) Ok, we have nothing in common.
I love the voice of Stark’s computer, ”Jarvis”. I thought Jude Law was perfect as the voice. What an angelic voice he has…. Way to go Jude! (I later found out that it was the voice of Paul Bettany. I guess its still good.)
I loved that in the original film they had Pepper Potts in tight jean short shorts. This time, to out-do themselves they showed Pepper’s bare midriff, and my God, what a beautifully tight and toned stomach. Way to go Pepper. I love a toned gut. (it offsets mine)
The F/X were dyn-o-mite!
And the bad guys (Guy Pearce, Ben Kingsley, and James Badge Dale) were fantastic as the villians.
Now to my issues.
I did not like that Pepper Potts got to wear the Ironman suit… TWICE! That’s Ironman’s suit! I don’t want anyone wearing my Panda suit when I go out to work! I love my suit, and Ironman should love his suit!
I’m not a fan of the Happy Hogan character.
I think that they showed too much of the great parts of the movie in the previews. You know the scene where Ironman is catching all those people falling out of the plane? Well, he saves them and calmly drops them in the water. I found it to be anti-climatic for such a pertinant scene in the film.
And my most major flaw of the film was that there were TWO Mandarins! I thought they could’ve just used Kingsley’s Mandarin for the entire movie! That Mandarin was great! In the previews he’s scary as all hell. “You’ll neverrrrrr see me comingggg.” (Just great.)
Now that I’ve said all that, I want to tell you that I saw this flick twice over the weekend. After seeing it the second time, I totally fell in love with it. It was the initial punch in the face that knocked me for a loop. I didn’t expect it to flow the way it did and I was taken by surprise. But that’s what you want a movie to do, right? Take you by surprise? The film needed the story to roll the way it did, and after seeing it again, I understood what they were doing… (I’m telling you though, Kingsley’s Mandarin could’ve been a GREAT villian, and not just an idiot.)
So Robert Downey Jr., from one messed up kat to another, I’m happy to see you back up on top. We all do ”crazy”, some of us just do it better than others. I’m glad you’ve found your way.
Fun Fact: Robert Downey Jr. first smoked pot at the age of 6 when his father let him try it. (A choice that his father said he later regret.)
Fun Matty Fact: I’m not too sure when the first time I smoked pot was, but I can guarantee you that it wasn’t at age 6 with my father! (Although my father is a very mellow man, so maybe HE was smoking pot… Hell, I would have if I have if I had me for a son.)