Category: Movie Reviews

THE MATTY’S: “Best Supporting Actress- 2014”

Gold TrophyIt’s that time of year again. The time when all of your favorite celebrities get dolled up in their custom designed Tom Ford tuxedos and their Vera Wang down-to-the-ground gowns (haha, I said “Wang”) and head off to the hoitiest of the tiotiest award show galas.

Yup, it’s the time for celebrities to congratulate other celebrities on a job well done at the box office throughout the year… and deservedly so. It’s a HUGE business the entertainment industry is. Just last year the domestic box office total alone was a whopping $10,546,489,975. That’s a lot of scratch, Melvin. (and that’s not even including the international market.) Continue reading THE MATTY’S: “Best Supporting Actress- 2014”

The Wolf of Wall Street

The Wolf of Wall StreetLeonardo DiCaprio. Did you ever think he could achieve anything greater than “Growing Pains”?

Of course you did! With his dashing good looks, his salon quality hair, and his penchant for taking characters from a script and breathing extrordinary life into them, how could you not think he had a blockbuster future on the big screen?

And that is exactly what Leo has done with his career. He has taken roles, worked his acting magic, and made his characters into larger than life phenoms. Just look at Jack Dawson, Titanic’s doomed hero. You can’t say the name Jack Dawson around a group of ladies without them getting all weak in the knees. Hell, when I go out to pick up dames I always use the fake name “Jack Dawson”. Chicks dig it. But once they get to know me I quickly become “Jack Goff”.

Anyways, enough about me, let’s talk Leo. Continue reading The Wolf of Wall Street

August: Osage County

OsageCountyChick flicks. What the hell are they? From what I’ve gathered over the years is that they meet one (or more) of three criteria.

  1. The cast must be predominantly woman, with the lead being a strong female character.
  2. The film must be filled with heavy emotional issues, usually relationship based. And usually the movie will make you want to cry… or laugh… or angered… or sad… or happy… or all of this at once. (Yes, its usually an emotional roller coaster.)
  3. The film is typically designed to appeal to women. This is the film’s main target audience. (and if the movie just so happens to pull in a male viewing audience because they were dragged to the theatre to see it by their girlfriends, well then more power to you.)

So that’s what I think a “chick-flick” is.

Are men allowed to like chick-flicks? Let’s let the men answer that for themselves. Continue reading August: Osage County

47 Ronin

47RoninWhat an amazing year it’s been at the movies. We’ve been littered with all types of films this year. We’ve had some great movies (Blue is the Warmest Color), and some not so great movies (Anchorman 2). We’ve had laughter (We’re the Miller’s) and we’ve had pain (12 Years a Slave). We’ve had underrated films (Spring Breakers) and we’ve also had overrated duds. (The Lone Ranger).

And let’s not forget that we also had “Sharknado”. Yeah that’s right, that wretched display of a film actually played in theatres for one night. (And I’m the idiot that went and saw it.)

I could talk about all of this year’s releases for days on end, but I won’t today. I’ll save that article for my upcoming movie awards column, “The Matty’s”.

Nope, today we’re going to review a movie. And it’s my choice. A sort of pot-luck of what I have seen in the past week. You see, on Christmas morning I had tallied up my movie total for the year and I was at 90 films. I needed ten movies to hit the coveted century mark. And I was going to do it. So in the past seven days I’ve seen, The Wolf of Wall Street, American Hustle, Her, The Secret Life of Walter Mitty, Grudge Match, Lone Survivor, Saving Mr. Banks, Mandela, Frozen, and 47 Ronin. Nine out of these ten movies were very good to great. Guess which one wasn’t.

Continue reading 47 Ronin

Oldboy

OldBoyHow would you feel if you were out walking the city streets one rainy evening, blacked out drunk, puking all over yourself, and sleeping in the gutter?

How would you feel if you woke up the next morning in a hotel room, all cleaned up, dry clothes in the bureau for you, and no clue how you got there?

Now, how would you feel if for the next twenty years of your life you couldn’t find a way to get out of that hotel room? Would you like it? Yes? Well then I got a movie for you.

“Oldboy” is a remake of the wildly popular 2003 South Korean film of the same name. (“Oldeuboi”).

It tells the story of Joe Doucette, (Josh Brolin) an advertising executive who has a sweet tooth for booze and women. He is divorced and is the father of a three year old girl. A girl he doesn’t spend nearly enough time with. Continue reading Oldboy

Hunger Games: Catching Fire

catchingfire“May the odds be ever in your favor.”

The film begins with a picturesque view of a tree filled mountain. Cut to the next scene and you see Katniss Everdeen (Jennifer Lawrence) and Gale Hawthorne (Liam Hemsworth) hunting turkeys in the forest. This is when I had to think for a second and remember what I had come to the theatre to see.

I was here to see the sequel to “The Hunger Games”. I was here to see “Catching Fire”. Continue reading Hunger Games: Catching Fire

Thor, And A Whole Bunch More”

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ThorAlright folks, I’m back and I’m feeling refreshed and ready to review some movies.

It’s been a while since I’ve reviewed a film. The last one being “Captain Phillips”. I reviewed that movie while I was touring the country, on my way to starting my new life out in sunny California.

You see, as we all know, I love my movies. And there’s no better place to be than in L.A. if you want to keep up on the film industry.

Well my friends, I may have not been keeping up on my reviews, but I have certainly been keeping up on my movies. I have seen five new films since I moved into my apartment in Sherman Oaks.

And right now I’m going to rattle out a slew of “rapid reviews” for you. Please try to keep up. Continue reading Thor, And A Whole Bunch More”

Let’s go see HUGO!

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HugoCan director Martin Scorsese capture another Oscar with his new film?

Ok, so the Thanksgiving holiday is behind us and December is here. You know what that means, right? Exactly! ‘Tis the season for the big movie production companies to put forth their films that they think will be up for awards come Oscar time. And it all starts now… This fires me up! Continue reading Let’s go see HUGO!

Captain Phillips

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CaptainPhilips

I’ve been on the road for the past two weeks, touring the country and checking out some of America’s greatest wonders. I’ve seen Niagara Falls, Graceland, The Badlands, Mount Rushmore, more corn than ever imaginable, and so many cows that I’ve started to develop udders. I’m not done yet. I’ve still got to hit the Hoover Dam, the Grand Canyon and Vegas-baby before I reach my final destination of Los Angeles, where I hope to land an interesting job in the entertainment industry. Hell, I love movies, why not do something in film? (while of course, still writing my movie reviews.) That’s the plan, do something that makes me happy, right?

Well, you know what makes me happy? Movies man! You know what else makes me happy? Malls. And I got to see a great film at the greatest mall ever. The Mall of America in Minnesota. The place has everything in it, including a freshly baked Nestle’s Toll House Cookies kiosk, a Ninja Turtles ride and a dynamite roller coaster.

And it has a movie theatre. What a great combination, movies and malls. It’s perfect. Anyways, I saw “Gravity” there. And it was spectacular! I loved the 3D. The weightlessness ‘special effects’ were awesome, and the story of survival was inspiring to say the least. Continue reading Captain Phillips

Prisoners

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Prisoners

For me, there are two types of films. Some movies flow into your skull for the two hours that you’re sitting in the theatre and then they escape right after you leave. Then there are a select few films that stay with you long after you’ve left your trash behind for the ushers to clean up.

Which brings me to my point. Why the hell don’t you guys clean up after yourselves? What the hell is going on here? Sure, I understand if you drop your popcorn, I know you can’t be picking that stuff up, but why not grab your empty cups and popcorn bags. I know you guys, you’d never leave your Yoo-hoo’s and Smartfood on your livingroom floor after you finished watching “Die Hard 4”, would you? So why don’t we just do what “Woodsie the Owl” always taught us, “Give a hoot, don’t pollute!” Which brings me to my second point. Why the hell can’t I even get through a paragragh without jumping off topic. Is it because I care about movie theatre pollution? Or maybe it’s because I always want things to be perfect when I go to the theatre. Or maybe, just maybe, I’m a complete mental case that needs some sort of prescription drugs to get me through the day. Hey, I’m a big proponent of “better living through chemistry”.

Well, whatever it is, I sure hope I can get it under control at some point. Continue reading Prisoners