As I sit here this evening in front of my computer, I can’t help but ponder the age old question of which film to write a review on. Should I compose an article on the “awfully good” film I saw over the weekend? Or should I scribe about the “terribly bad” film I saw over the Memorial Day holiday? Continue reading The Fast & The Furious Hangover!
Month: May 2013
The Not So Great Gatsby
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“The Great Gatsby” is a literary masterpiece…. but I wouldn’t want to read it. Books. What are they good for? Absolutely nothing.
For any of you out there that are fans of my column, you already know how I feel about books. But just in case I’m getting any new, first time readers, I’d like to tell YOU PERSONALLY how I feel about books. Books suck. They’re the worst.
Books are for nerds. And of course, the movie is ALWAYS better than the book.
I can’t stress this point enough, but I’ll try. If I were in prison with Andy Dufresne and “Red” Redding, I would want the warden to shut down ‘Brooks Hall’ and take all the books (including “The Count of Monte Cristo, by Alexander Dumas) out into the prison yard and have a big old fashioned book-burning party. Continue reading The Not So Great Gatsby
Oz, The Weak and Pitiful.
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Ok, that may be a little too harsh of a headline, but this prequel doesn’t even come close to the original “Oz”.
“We’re off to see the wizard, the wonderful wizard of Oz.”
See, just reading that first sentence makes me want to belt out that song. You know why? Because, because, because, because, because! Because of the wonderful things he does! Now, I bet I got all four of you reading this article singing that song right now. And why wouldn’t you? It’s a classic, much like the original “Wizard of Oz”.
And let me tell you before the twister even hits, that “Oz, The Great and Powerful” does not live up to 1939 classic starring Judy Garland and her ruby red slippers. Continue reading Oz, The Weak and Pitiful.
Roger Ebert
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Roger Ebert was a great man, a great mentor and a great movie reviewer.
We all have heroes. Every single one of us does. We all look at our parents as heroes. As children, our moms and dads were the ones who protected us, clothed us, fed us, and kept us out of trouble. There are also people who protect us as a nation. America’s heroes, the soldiers fighting for us abroad. These people are the REAL heroes. After them, you could move on to our country’s forefathers: Washington, Lincoln, FDR, and my personal favorite, our ninth president, William Henry Harrison. Sure, he only served 32 days in office, but he did have the best nickname: “Old Tippecanoe”. (Hey, I’m all about nicknames, ok Meatball?)
Now we get into an area where we select our heroes based on what we enjoy. For instance, I know many men and women who live, eat, sleep, and breathe sports. Ask any jock who their heroes are and their answers will be, Jordan, Orr, Teddy Williams, Jackie Robinson (for many reasons with him, he’s in a league of his own.) Bird, Brady, Gretsky, Montana, Pedro or Ken Griffey Jr. And that’s just a few. Continue reading Roger Ebert
Spring Breakers
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I totally loved this movie.
Joe Francis deserves to be paid royalties for this movie… You know why? Because half of this film is a complete rip-off of his straight to dvd, “Girls Gone Wild” videos.
And the other half of this film is a mesmerizing look into the seedy world of sex, drugs, alcohol, and gangstas while on spring break in Florida.
Put those two elements together and you’ve got yourself one powerful, sexual, and extra-terrestrial film… And I totally loved it.
Now, I will tell you right from the start that this film is not for everyone. It is definitely not for children. It is also not for old fogies who are out of touch with reality. This is a film with a lot of illegal activity going on in it. And once again, I totally loved this film.
But it was definitely not what I expected. Continue reading Spring Breakers
Ironman 3
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“Ironman 3” is a fantastic film, but if you’re going to see it soon, don’t read my review… YOU’VE BEEN WARNED.
Robert Downey Jr. has made some mistakes in his life. He’s been hooked on drugs, and drugs and booze, (and drugs) and has also done a lengthy stint in jail. Does this make him a bad man? Absolutely not. We’ve all made mistakes. (Some more than others.) Making mistakes is part of life. Some of my mistake have actually been the best parts of my life… And some have been the worst. But there’s no doubt about it, we all make mistakes. It’s what you do after to fix them that mold you into a better man. Hell, if I was to write an article on all my mistakes, this column would be called “Matty’s Major Malfunctions” and not “Matty’s Movies”… And you know what? I could pen a novel with all the screw-ups that I have created, and trust me, you would love it. I’m talking “best seller” material. Continue reading Ironman 3
Colin Farrell is solid in “Dead Man Down”.
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The highly anticipated prequel to “The Wizard of Oz” finally hit theatres this weekend, so I rushed right out and saw “Dead Man Down”. It’s not that I didn’t want to see “Oz, The Great and Powerful”, it’s just that the previews to this Colin Farrell vehicle looked quite entertaining to me. And my fellow Irish Assassin did not disappoint. To me, Mr. Farrell does not get enough props in Hollywood for his acting.And it’s not just his acting either. This man knows how to pick his scripts. Alright, he may have missed with “Miami Vice”… And “Daredevil” was weak, but at least he was a standout as the evil villian ‘Bullseye’ in that film. The rest of that movie reeked of foulness. (Sorry Benji Affleck and Jenny Garner, but honestly, it wasn’t good.) Continue reading Colin Farrell is solid in “Dead Man Down”.
The Fast And Furious Hangover
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As I sit here this evening in front of my computer, I can’t help but ponder the age old question of which film to write a review on. Should I compose an article on the “awfully good” film I saw over the weekend? Or should I scribe about the “terribly bad” film I saw over the Memorial Day holiday?
Well, I’ll tell you right now that it’s a hell of a lot easier to pen a column about a bad film. It’s quite easy to tear apart a movie that seemed to not care about their movie-going public and only cared about the almighty dollar. Do you know what movie I’m talking about?
Yes, I saw “Hangover III” this weekend…and it was depressingly rotten. Continue reading The Fast And Furious Hangover