Month: October 2012

‘Alex Cross’

[xrr rating=1/5]
AlexCrossGuess who will be caught making-out with John Carter at this years Razzie Awards? That’s right, Alex Cross.

Ok folks, we’re jumping right into this movie review, feet first.

First off, I am wondering why the hell this movie wasn’t called “Tyler Perry’s: Alex Cross”? Every single movie, or television show, or anything for that fact, that this narcissist has ever been in, has always started off with the two words “Tyler Perry’s…” (Trust me, I know a narcissist when I see one… I am one, just ask me.) Have you ever noticed this? Take a look, Tyler Perry’s “Madea’s Family Reunion,” Tyler Perry’s “Meet The Browns,” Tyler Perry’s “Why Did I Get Married Too,” Tyler Perry’s “House of Payne.” I was driving through town yesterday and I think I saw a van that said “Tyler Perry’s Plumbing and Heating” and a restaurant that said “Tyler Perry’s Chipotle.” I mean, this guy will put his name on anything! Continue reading ‘Alex Cross’

‘The Perks of Being a Wallflower’

[xrr rating=4.5/5]
ThePerksOfBeingaWallflowerI may have found my contender for this year’s “Best Picture” award at the Oscars.

I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again. The movie is ALWAYS better than the book. I can’t stress this enough. You know why it’s always better? Because books suck. They make me dizzy, and they take too long to read. I’ve told you this many times before. I’ve given up on books. As a matter of fact, I’ve never really even given books a chance. The only book I’ve ever read from cover to cover was “Return of the Jedi,” and I read that one from BACK cover to FRONT cover! Maybe it’s because I’m a lefty and it’s easier to flip the pages from back to front. (I read magazines the same way.) Or maybe it was because I wanted to see how “Star Wars” ended and I’m an immature and impatient child who needs the answer right away. But either way I started with the last chapter and LOVED how it ended, so I went to the chapter before. Loved that chapter too. Next thing I knew it was six months later and I had just finished my first ‘grown-up’ book ever… in seventh grade homeroom reading period… backwards!

I swore off books after that fiasco and haven’t looked back since. Continue reading ‘The Perks of Being a Wallflower’

‘Looper’ is Super!

[xrr rating=4.5/5]
LooperWould you like to read a loopy review, from a loopy reviewer, about the loopy movie called “Looper”?

Do you ever think back to your childhood and remember what you used to watch on TV? I do. I can clearly remember sitting in front of the tube with my sisters and brothers and watching Sesame Street. I remember Big Bird walking down the street and strutting on into the corner store and saying “Good morning Mr. Looper!” and then the owner screaming “It’s Hooper! IT’S HOOPER!” Do any of you remember this? Well anyways, it has NOTHING to do with this review of the movie “Looper.” I just needed a paragraph to segway into this movie review. Continue reading ‘Looper’ is Super!