Month: August 2012

The Expendables 2

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ExpendablesTwoLeave your brain at the door, you won’t need it… but you WILL LOVE THIS FILM.

Are you a man? Are you a man’s man? Are you a woman wanting to impress your man? Are you a woman who may someday want to become a man?

If you are any of the above, then I have the movie for you.

“The Expendables 2” is a man’s movie. It’s all adrenaline, all testoserone, all intestinal fortitude… and alright, it’s all AWESOME!

Now, I know what my loyal readers out there are saying right now. You’re saying, “Wait a minute, he reviewed ‘The Bourne Legacy’ last week, and he hated it, but now he’s reviewing this steroid-stuck gorilla film, and he LOVES it? What is the matter with Matty?”

Well my friends, sometimes you just need to go to the movie theatre to have fun. Sometimes you just want to sit back and not have to think. Sometimes you just want to see a dumb movie. Continue reading The Expendables 2

The Bourne Legacy

[xrr rating=3/5]
TheBourneLegacyThis movie could’ve just as easily been called “The Boring Legacy,” just like its predecessors.

I don’t know who out in Hollywood got a hold of all you lemmings and brainwashed you into thinking that ANY of these “Bourne” movies are any good, but take it from a professional movie reviewer – they aren’t.

Seriously, what is going on here? I’ve asked many of my friends if they liked the “Jason Bourne” trilogy, starring Boston’s own Matt Damon, and the majority have said that, yeah, they do like them. I said to myself, “What is up? What am I missing?” This is when I decided to call in some professional help.

I have connections in the movie reviewing business, so I called on them to get their professional opinions on this saga.

The reviewers that I called in work for a website called “A Seat Apart: Reel Reviews.” And let me tell you, they sure know their movies. Continue reading The Bourne Legacy

Total Recall

[xrr rating=4/5]
TotalRecallIf you can suspend your thoughts on the original film, then I think you will enjoy this remake… I did.

“Open your mind… Open your mind… Open your mind.” -Kuato

Unfortunately, Kuato isn’t even in this updated reboot of the 1990 sci-fi blockbuster film, “Total Recall.” And this saddened me because Kuato may have been the most interesting character of ANY film in the 90’s. Yet, he was only in the movie for ten minutes. He was interesting to me because he looked like a melted Chucky doll from the movie “Childs Play,” that disgustingly grew out of the stomache of another man. He could read minds and he was the savior to all the aliens on the planet Mars. Yup, he was cool.

You may also remember that a handsome, muscular Arnold Schwarzenegger and a young, fit, pant-suit wearing, blond bombshell named Sharon Stone were the two actors that carried this film to stardom. Continue reading Total Recall

‘Brave’… Taking children to the movies can be a project… but it’s so worth it.

[xrr rating=3.5/5]
BraveThis past weekend I traveled south to Virginia to spend some quality time with my family. They live in Alexandria. These are great times for me. I get to hang out with my sisters Faithie and Becky, and my brother-in-law, “Dandy” Dan Sheehan. All three of them are home grown Norwoodites, and they bleed blue and gold. It bums me out that they live so far away, but when we get together, we eat, laugh, and talk about Norwood… and about movies.

But honestly, I actually go down for the main attraction, my niece and nephews. The bro’s and sis’s are secondary. Sorry guys. Continue reading ‘Brave’… Taking children to the movies can be a project… but it’s so worth it.